Season 3

2001 · 22 episodes · 8h 26m in all · 7.0/10

In this hilarious third season, the Griffin family faces all-new dilemmas, including Brian's unintentional foray into directing porn, Stewie's rants on national TV, Meg's date with a nudist and Lois' Yuletide insanity. Meanwhile, Peter is surprised to discover Lois was once a groupie, and his son, Chris, is more "endowed" than he is.

1. The Thin White Line (1)
11 Jul 2001 · 23 min · 7.3/10
Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.
2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)
18 Jul 2001 · 23 min · 7.1/10
Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.
3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
25 Jul 2001 · 23 min · 6.9/10
The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.
4. One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
1 Aug 2001 · 23 min · 6.7/10
When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
5. And the Wiener Is...
8 Aug 2001 · 23 min · 7.2/10
Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.
6. Death Lives
15 Aug 2001 · 23 min · 7.4/10
After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
7. Lethal Weapons
22 Aug 2001 · 23 min · 7.1/10
New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.
8. The Kiss Seen Around the World
29 Aug 2001 · 23 min · 6.5/10
Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.
9. Mr. Saturday Knight
5 Sept 2001 · 23 min · 7.0/10
Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.
10. Fish Out of Water
19 Sept 2001 · 23 min · 6.5/10
When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.
11. Emission Impossible
8 Oct 2001 · 23 min · 7.5/10
Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.
12. To Love and Die in Dixie
15 Nov 2001 · 23 min · 7.4/10
The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.
13. Screwed the Pooch
29 Nov 2001 · 23 min · 6.8/10
Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.
14. Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
6 Dec 2001 · 23 min · 7.0/10
While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can't quite get the hang of it. When Lois' father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.
15. Ready, Willing, and Disabled
20 Dec 2001 · 23 min · 7.1/10
Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Chris fight over $26.
16. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
21 Dec 2001 · 23 min · 6.6/10
Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus' ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world's children.
17. Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
17 Jan 2002 · 23 min · 7.0/10
Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.
18. From Method to Madness
24 Jan 2002 · 23 min · 7.1/10
Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.
19. Stuck Together, Torn Apart
31 Jan 2002 · 23 min · 7.2/10
Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.
20. Road to Europe
7 Feb 2002 · 23 min · 7.2/10
Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.
21. Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
14 Feb 2002 · 23 min · 7.2/10
Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."
22. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
10 Dec 2004 · 23 min · 6.9/10
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.