Season 5

2025 · 110 episodes · 113h 0m in all

Mark, Bob, and Wade try doing this with even more arbitrary rules

1. Mark's One Man Show
21 Feb 2025 · 58 min
Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade.
2. When Was That Again?
23 Feb 2025 · 65 min
When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?!
3. Who Want Million?
27 Feb 2025 · 70 min
I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.)
4. Right In The Sauce Box
2 Mar 2025 · 59 min
Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup.
5. Hide The Penny
7 Mar 2025 · 74 min
For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable!
6. September 10th
9 Mar 2025 · 75 min
Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction.
7. Our Shirts Are Out
13 Mar 2025 · 59 min
A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life.
8. We've Never Done This Before
16 Mar 2025 · 59 min
Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob!
9. The Best, The Worst
20 Mar 2025 · 70 min
For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst.
10. Illegal Advice Too
23 Mar 2025 · 60 min
This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough.
11. Faster or Slower?
27 Mar 2025 · 77 min
Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy.
12. Animal Noises Too
30 Mar 2025 · 57 min
This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E.
13. Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
3 Apr 2025 · 71 min
The dudes are bringing it back home with this one.
14. Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
6 Apr 2025 · 65 min
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation.
15. Slice of Life
10 Apr 2025 · 70 min
The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat.
16. Even More Broken News
13 Apr 2025 · 56 min
The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever.
17. Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
17 Apr 2025 · 61 min
Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel.
18. The Perfecter Crime
20 Apr 2025 · 70 min
Orange Is The New Distract.
19. Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
24 Apr 2025 · 66 min
The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen.
20. The Even More Perfecter Crime
27 Apr 2025 · 92 min
Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade."
21. Weird (Part 4)
1 May 2025 · 72 min
Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob?
22. Who Is Us?
4 May 2025 · 70 min
All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode!
23. idk, some "Q"s
8 May 2025 · 68 min
W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s.
24. Three Word Sales Pitch
11 May 2025 · 63 min
Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff!
25. Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
15 May 2025 · 63 min
Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses.
26. A Disgusting Episode
19 May 2025 · 64 min
Well, that was gross...
27. Don't Get Me Started
22 May 2025 · 68 min
Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started...
28. Peekaboo!
26 May 2025 · 56 min
Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob.
29. We Hate These States
29 May 2025 · 72 min
The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering.
30. Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game
1 Jun 2025 · 64 min
The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it.
31. Somehow, Even More Broken News
5 Jun 2025 · 63 min
The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back!
32. Sometimes We Just Chat
9 Jun 2025 · 66 min
What's better than this? Guys being dudes.
33. They've Gone Too Far!
12 Jun 2025 · 67 min
If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken.
34. Nah, I'd Win (Part 4)
15 Jun 2025 · 68 min
Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald.
35. Sisyphean (Sis-uh-fee-uhn)
20 Jun 2025 · 84 min
Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders.
36. Frog Sticks!
22 Jun 2025 · 68 min
What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade...
37. 20 "Simple" Questions
26 Jun 2025 · 49 min
It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now.
38. Gaming News
29 Jun 2025 · 69 min
Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world.
39. I Farted During This Episode
3 Jul 2025 · 58 min
How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something...
40. Fourth of Poo-ly
7 Jul 2025 · 55 min
What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July?
41. I Miss The Old Distractible
10 Jul 2025 · 61 min
I liked Distractible before it was cool.
42. I See Two Paths
13 Jul 2025 · 67 min
Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies.
43. Don't Google Pin Buttock
18 Jul 2025 · 75 min
"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre.
44. Wade Lied To Us
20 Jul 2025 · 73 min
Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets.
45. I Miss The Old Distractible (Part 2)
24 Jul 2025 · 57 min
Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces.
46. Oregon Trail
27 Jul 2025 · 101 min
3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks.
47. Devil's Advocate (Part 2)
31 Jul 2025 · 63 min
It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument.
48. Fourth of Poo-gust
3 Aug 2025 · 63 min
The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode.
49. Record Setting Guessing
7 Aug 2025 · 67 min
Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest.
50. Size Matters
10 Aug 2025 · 51 min
Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes.
51. Hot Takes, Cold Truths
14 Aug 2025 · 58 min
Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes.
52. Draw or Die
17 Aug 2025 · 49 min
Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game.
53. Hinged or Unhinged
21 Aug 2025 · 79 min
No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom.
54. Legend of The Monkey's Paw
24 Aug 2025 · 65 min
The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make.
55. Hide The Penny (Part 2)
28 Aug 2025 · 68 min
You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French.
56. Drama Alarm
31 Aug 2025 · 64 min
The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one.
57. Legend of The Monkey's Paw (Part 2)
4 Sept 2025 · 58 min
Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight.
58. What The Hell Is That?
7 Sept 2025 · 65 min
Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game.
59. Anything Goes (Part 2)
11 Sept 2025 · 66 min
Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables.
60. Let's Get Deep
14 Sept 2025 · 81 min
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
61. Bob's One Man Show
18 Sept 2025 · 49 min
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
62. For Folk's Sake
21 Sept 2025 · 57 min
The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty.
63. Shame, Shame, Shame
25 Sept 2025 · 63 min
A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful.
64. The Pee Covered Episode
29 Sept 2025 · 40 min
The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.
65. Wade Has An Interest
2 Oct 2025 · 57 min
What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch.
66. A Harrowing Journey
5 Oct 2025 · 61 min
Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one.
67. Three Sentence Horror Stories
9 Oct 2025 · 48 min
Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode.
68. In This Game... Only Letters, Friends
12 Oct 2025 · 65 min
A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words.
69. The Cursed Episode
16 Oct 2025 · 65 min
Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends.
70. The Oxford 3000
19 Oct 2025 · 73 min
Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos.
71. Nah, I'd Lose
23 Oct 2025 · 64 min
Not all battles are worth winning.
72. World Record (Today)
26 Oct 2025 · 54 min
Hiii...
73. Viewer Discretion Is Advised
30 Oct 2025 · 57 min
View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight...
74. Bob's Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!)
13 Nov 2025 · 49 min
He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height.
75. Please Laugh
16 Nov 2025 · 48 min
Listeners, you're responsible for this...
76. King of the Friend Zone
20 Nov 2025 · 47 min
Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away...
77. Wade's/Bob's/Mandy's Word Game (Featuring Markiplier)
24 Nov 2025 · 52 min
Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town.
78. Anything Goes (Part 3)
27 Nov 2025 · 50 min
Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes."
79. Get More Faster
7 Dec 2025 · 48 min
The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert...
80. Will It Into Existence
11 Dec 2025 · 56 min
Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026.
81. Size Matters (Part 2)
14 Dec 2025 · 47 min
The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test.
82. Squid Game (Even Too-er)
18 Dec 2025 · 43 min
The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game.
83. Get Ready For A Lot of Ligolo
22 Dec 2025 · 55 min
The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo.
84. 2026 Distractible Game Guide
4 Jan 2026 · 54 min
New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise.
85. Make Wade Do It
8 Jan 2026 · 56 min
Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions.
86. Wade's One Man Show
22 Jan 2026 · 40 min
The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob
87. Everybody Hates Dor
25 Jan 2026 · 54 min
Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.)
88. Snow Days
29 Jan 2026 · 52 min
The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days.
89. Yeah, He'd Live
1 Feb 2026 · 56 min
Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical.
90. How Do You Pan?
5 Feb 2026 · 54 min
The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for.
91. Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game
8 Feb 2026 · 53 min
Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
92. Draw Or Die (Part 2)
12 Feb 2026 · 62 min
Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
93. Fortunately, Unfortunately
15 Feb 2026 · 52 min
Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald.
94. Bad Mood
19 Feb 2026 · 59 min
The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons.
95. I'm a Doctor!
22 Feb 2026 · 53 min
Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in*
96. Solar System Tier List
26 Feb 2026 · 56 min
Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder...
97. News Flash!
2 Mar 2026 · 57 min
Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you.
98. How to ABCs
5 Mar 2026 · 53 min
Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet.
99. The Smell You Can Lick
8 Mar 2026 · 65 min
Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses.
100. Friday the 13th
12 Mar 2026 · 50 min
WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith.
101. Dicebreakers Too!
15 Mar 2026 · 59 min
Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever.
102. Buy My Thing!
23 Mar 2026 · 63 min
What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe?
103. That Sounds Good!
29 Mar 2026 · 57 min
What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says...
104. Oxford 3000 AND TOO
5 Apr 2026 · 66 min
Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health.
105. Anything Goes (Part 4)
12 Apr 2026 · 66 min
Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play.
106. Mark's One Man Show (Part 2)
19 Apr 2026 · 63 min
Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him.
107. That Sounds Bad!
26 Apr 2026 · 56 min
Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark.
108. Reverse Charades
3 May 2026 · 56 min
Quick, get flat!
109. America vs Europe
11 May 2026 · 77 min
No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes.
110. The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)
17 May 2026 · 71 min
Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!